A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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