i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize