Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Screwed.edu
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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