So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize