don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize