We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
