shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i out mim tonsoeep
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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