she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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