how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
