dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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