He disabled his match.com account in front of me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
