Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
