we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
