ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
