My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
