i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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