Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize