"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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