quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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