When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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