Who did Billy Mays play for?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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