Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry neinstein hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

This guy has a retainer. We're golden.

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(305): View more from Florida

He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.

Fav 36 761 3902
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.

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(314): View more from Missouri

You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.

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(562): View more from California

I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?

(714): View more from California

Whatever it is you failed

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?

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(216): View more from Ohio

Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm gonna eat you out. But for science

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(406): View more from Montana

Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.

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