I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
