I saw his package. It spoke to me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
