i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
