why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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