I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
try to milk me bitch
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
