i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize