No stitches, just platelets and will power
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
