My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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