Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
