I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
