by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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