i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
