Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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