Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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