we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize