So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
