That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
