on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
