I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm getting married
To pizza
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
