He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
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Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
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And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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