Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
