Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
