my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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