Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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