Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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