so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
