moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
