Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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