areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
