my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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