Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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