your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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