If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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